Sunday, June 16, 2013

Stream of Emotions...

-Joy, Blessed, Comfort, Fear, Love, Sadness, Longing, Peace, Remorse, Anxiety, Sorrow, Hope, Gratitude, Sympathy, Relief, Frustration, Amusement, Thankfulness ..... 

-Tonight is one of those nights. I have been trying to put my thoughts together all week, and have unsuccessfully been able to get them out. It seems as if have been on a roller-coser, trying to navigate my way through the journey we are on. 

~My children's' smiles bring me JOY everyday
~My heavenly Father has BLESSED me beyond belief
~I find COMFORT in my husbands arms
~I FEAR the unknown
~I LOVE seeing my baby roll, laugh, and smile
~SADNESS finds its way in when I see so many other families affected by SMA
~I am LONGING to be in California at the National SMA Conference
~I find PEACE in God 
~I am ANXIOUS to see what tomorrow brings
~SORROW comes when I see my child want so badly to do something that she is not able to do
~There is HOPE for a brighter future
~My heart overflows with GRATITUDE for the prayers that have been said for our family
~SYMPATHY and tears for the families that have SMA angels
~I have a sense of RELIEF knowing that this is GODS perfect plan
~FRUSTRATION is my body not doing what it is supposed to be able to do
~I am AMUSED by all the little things in a day
~THANKFULNESS for this life I have been given to LIVE

-Today was a perfect day. We were able to go roping and fishing with some dear friends of ours. Everyone had a great time. Lots of laughs and good food. 

-Last Monday we found out my blood results were still in the "normal range". Thank the Lord for that! 

-Tomorrow we will be leaving at 6:30am to drive to Rapid City for a consultation with a surgeon specialist. I had some more doctors look over my case and this was highly recommended. Ideally we will be able to get a biopsy of the tumors under my collar bone, analyze them and get to the bottom of all this medical stuff. 

-Denalli and Ryka have both been featured in some awesome, heart warming, tear shedding videos. Here are the links. Please watch and share with the world. WE HAVE TO END SMA.... 

-Click HERE to see Denalli.

- (LOVE the songs that play along with the videos...) 

-Click HERE to see Ryka Kate. 

-Watch them, Share them, CHANGE THE WORLD- CURE SMA! 

-Right now the National SMA conference is going on in California. I am SO wishing we were there..... Denalli had the time of her life when we were able to go last year. (it was held in MN) While at the conference, Denalli was looked upon as "normal" and not some "little girl in a power-chair". While at the conference, she blossomed into an exuberant social butterfly. Also last year, Casey and I learned so much and met a lot of awesome families. With it being in CA this year, we were unable to secure the money needed to fund the trip. We are really hoping to find sponsors/make a way to go for the conference next year.... 

-My Cowboy is an incredible man. He makes me laugh. I could not imagine my life with out him. He makes me want to be better everyday. 

-He is so amazing with the kids. He is the breakfast cook on a daily basis and makes amazing biscuits (from scratch) and gravy at least twice a week. 

-He is grounded in His faith and has a love for the Lord and a gentleness beyond words. He is my Cowboy and my Rock. 

-He is the father I always dreamed my children would have. 

-Wow, GOD is GOOD! 

-I am tired.

-Thanks for checking in and listening to my ramblings.

-Until next time, be BLESSED and enjoy the moments! 

~*~ One BLESSED mommie ~*~ 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

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Friday, June 7, 2013

Do you ever feel like life is one big jig-saw puzzle?

Picture a cold winter day, the comfort of a cup of hot cocoa in hand, and a giant 1000 piece puzzle laid out before you. The outside frame is put together, and a few of the inside pieces have been put into place. All you have to do is put the rest of the pieces in place to see the "big picture". Sometimes this can be a very relaxing process, while at other times, it is nothing but a pile of stress and frustration. 

Life is like this. Or at least right now, my life is like this. I have the comfort of my Lord and Savior, and pieces of my life scattered everywhere. Over the past 2 months we have been searching to find answers to some medical questions. With every new answer, or every new piece added to the puzzle, we find yet another piece to add or another piece to look for. The days have been full of grace, anxiety, joy and stress. 

Yesterday we learned yet another piece to the puzzle of my medical issues. We went and consulted with a friend that has a Naturalist practice. After a lot of double checking and searching she found that my body is possibly fighting something like an Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia.... The electro-dermal scanning machine showed I need a heavy dose of detox herbs to help balance its-self out. Nothing is 100%. This is by no means a medical diagnosis, but it could possibly be a new piece to the puzzle...  

Over the past month, I have become increasingly tired. Walking up stairs, walking out the barn, doing chores, cleaning house, doing laundry, basically normal stuff has become a major exhaustion. After completing simple tasks, I feel like I have just ran a marathon, (or at least 1/2 a marathon). Previously, I just blamed the tiredness on being a mom of 5, nursing a growing baby, and possible thyroid issues. Now that I know my body is possibly fighting off something, the tiredness is to be expected.

So, now the "next piece of the puzzle".... Today, I went and had my blood drawn. We should have the results by Monday. This will help us see how my body is fighting. (My labs from 2 months ago looked great.... ) After we get the results, we will then determine the next step in our journey. We have already made an appointment for the MAYO clinic. They would like to see us on the 1st of July. Depending on the lab results, we will either keep the July 1st appointment, or we will do our best to move things up a bit. But, again, we need to have a better idea on what is going on before we take the next leap!

In the meantime, our naturalist has started me on a very strong regimen of detox herbs. I am so thankful I will be able to take them while still continuing to nurse Ryka. The side effects of the herbs could include, headache, nausea, and energy loss. I also am leaning about the alkaline diet and anything else I can do naturally to help my body fight whatever it has going on. 

We have had so many offers to help, and I want to let you know, I appreciate them from the bottom of my heart. I am not good about asking for help, or telling people how I need help- especially when it comes to me. So, a friend suggested I write a list for people to see and choose from. I love lists and am good at writing them, so.... here I am sharing with you my "To Do" list! :) 

~Clean House
~Do Laundry
~Make Meals
~Clean Fish Tank
~Budget Check-book
~Plant flowers
~Mulch Garden
~Organize Kids' Bedroom

To wrap everything up, I think we are still in a daze. There are moments when fear creeps in and unexpectadly grabs Casey and I, and our hearts are broken. But we relenquish the fear by realizing this is all in God's hands! Worrying and fearing about tomorrow will only give me a sense of worry and fear! All I want to have right now is peace that passes all understanding, and time with my beautiful children. 

Thank-you for caring. Thank you for your prayers! God is GOOD and He will FIGHT MY BATTLES!! 

~*~ One BLESSED mommie ~*~

P.S. If you would like to receive an e-mail when this blog is up-dated, go ahead and sign up to "follow" and/or "join this site"(located on the right hand side). That way, you won't miss the incredible works that God is going to do! 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond

Welcome to the daily (or weekly) dose of OBM. Todays dose is about a medical diagnosis and finding Joy. 

About a month ago, I found a lump on my throat.Then a few weeks later came an appointment at the endocrinologist. At the appointment came a ultrasound that confirmed the original lump was just a cyst. During the ultra sound, the Dr. also found two lumps under my collar bone that sent red flags up right away. Thyroid Cancer became the topic of discussion. It was decided to do a biopsy in the clinic that day, then wait for the results to talk about further treatment options. The biopsy results came back as benign. The Dr. did not trust the biopsy results, and asked us to come in for a consult to talk about the next step. At the consult our options were: 1> trust the biopsy, and keep an eye on the tumors over the next few years. 2> Get a CT scan to show the location/attachment of the tumors. 3> Have surgery and take the tumors and thyroid out. We decided to go ahead with a CT scan. After another trip to town (2 1/2 hrs one way), we learned from the CT scan that the two tumors are not attached to the thyroid, but instead attached to a lymph node. (this was the worse option of the two.) Now we are being referred onto a Thyroid/lymph surgical specialist for a second opinion on what the next step should be. Yesterday I sent off a medical application to MAYO, and am awaiting their reply. Today I am working on getting an appointment with a head and neck cancer Dr.out of Sioux Falls. Tomorrow, I will be heading to ND to consult with a Natural Alternatives lady. This week, I am focusing on redemption and finding the "pure joy" amidst the trials.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds. 

-James 1:2

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. 
-Philippians 4:13

Right now, I am trying to wrap my heart and mind around these two verses. Joy... Pure Joy... Do everything through Him.... My mind is racing on the ways to eveade the possible diagnosis of cancer. My heart aches at the thought of fighting a medical battle of my own. "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13" Yes, God's grace has brought me here, and by God's grace I will be able to continue. I am delighted that God has a plan and a purpose for the storms and the sunshine, even though the possible diagnois sof cancer does not inflict feelings of great pleasure and happiness. I do find pure joy in knowing these trials are bringing me closer to my Lord and Savior. My focus for today and the rest of tomorrows' will be- "joy like a fountain" by "Him who gives me strength". 

Thanks so much for your prayers! 

~*~ One BLESSED mommie ~*~